3 Rounds of Thesis Editing

Don't ask about the thesis thunderstorm

I have been neglecting this blog in favour of my thesis and so it has become merely a repository for small things that amuse me, generally centring on the PhD experience because, let's face it, that's all there is to my life at the moment. So when my friend lent me her iPad the other day to play with an app I had begged her to download so I could play with it, I of course drew this image which has been in the back of my head for months:

Now I desperately need an iPad just so I can download the Paper by 53 app! If anyone wants to buy me one I'd be most grateful!

For the record, I don't mind too much if people ask about my thesis, just check the rules. 

Eulogy for a deadline

We are gathered here today to witness the passing of yet another deadline.

September 30th was a dearly-loved deadline and one which added much-needed urgency to thesis writing. Right until its timely end it continued to motivate and drive writing. Its sacrifice has and will continue to make the thesis a better, more thorough document, and ultimately increases its chances of being successful.  In remembering this submission date, at this time we also remember March 30th and June 30th, deadlines who have passed but are not forgotten.

Please join me in a minute's silence in honour of this and all deadlines which have passed for the greater purpose of the PhD.

Thesis writing doodles

I've been doodling a bit lately, much to my own surprise. Here's a few inspirations I had in the midst of a thesis writing productivity spurt.

 

12 days of thesis

12 days ago @drjavafox tweeted that she was 12 days away from submitting her thesis. With that kind of prompt what could @heatherfro and I do but add this bit of silliness to the repertoire:

On the first day of thesis my advisor gave to me: an annotated bibliography

On the second day of thesis my advisor gave to me: two examiners and an annotated bibliography
On the third day of thesis my advisor gave to me: three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the fourth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the fifth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the sixth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the seventh day of thesis my advisor gave to me: seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the eighth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: eight computer breakdowns, seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the ninth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: nine formatting issues, eight computer
breakdowns, seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the tenth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: ten appendices, nine formatting issues, eight computer breakdowns, seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography
On the eleventh day of thesis my advisor gave to me: eleven forgotten references, ten appendices, nine formatting issues, eight computer breakdowns, seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

On the twelfth day of thesis my advisor gave to me: twelve hard bound copies, eleven forgotten
references, ten appendices, nine formatting issues, eight computer breakdowns, seven all-nighters, six meltdowns, FIVE REVISIONS! four dropbox folders, three notebooks, two examiners and an annotated bibliography

PhD blues

Seriously people, stop suggesting PhD analogies to me. I've already got the twelve days of thesis brewing and then somebody suggested "PhD blues". Then this happened. Entertainingly, when I tweeted it I got one spam tweet suggesting how I can make money, one tweet of encouragement possibly missing the fact the tweet rhymed and one "... is that a song?" So, with many apologies, I give you, the PHD BLUES.

Some people say
That I'm a smart sort
They think I'm alright
When it comes to thought

But what do they know?
I've got them all fooled
I can't write my thesis
I got the PhD blues

Got the phd blues keep me up all night
Got a half-finished thesis I just can't write
I'm all outta money I'm all outta time
If I want my doctorate I must first lose my mind

The Word Fairy and the Word Goblin

I've made some important conceptual development on my thesis so I'm rewarding myself by writing a light-hearted blog post. The fact that I need to start with that explanation is indicative of the lingering sense of guilt and defensiveness I feel.

THE WORD FAIRY
The Word Fairy is a mythical creature who drops bright and shiny and erudite-looking words (such as 'erudite') into your head as you're writing. These are often little-used words, whose meaning you're not exactly sure of. It's always best to check the Word Fairy's suggestions in a dictionary as sometimes they will be completely wrong, but you'll still want to use them because they seem such a good word. Often it takes many readings for the shininess of the word to wear off and as you're reading it you'll get a self-congratulatory buzz for using such a big, important-looking word and thus being a big, important-sounding person.

THE WORD GOBLIN*
The Word Goblin is the nemesis of the Word Fairy. Rather than deliver sparkling gems of words, it takes them somewhere between the tip of your tongue and your typing fingers, leaving only the ghostly impression that there is a word for that. Sometimes, sadly, there isn't and the Word Goblin is the much maligned victim of a lexical gap.

*Original idea by Debbie Prior

Keep keeping calm

After the popularity of DON'T ASK about MY THESIS I thought I'd post the other posters I've made, that are on my office wall.

Keep calm and keep writing - The most important message:

Shut up and write - when keep calm and keep writing doesn't work anymore:

If you have "Don't ask about my thesis" on the wall, you may want this one next to it:

 

Here are "Keep calm and keep writing" and "Don't ask about my thesis" together here as one picture. I have this as my desktop wallpaper at the moment.

All these posters were made by me with Keep Calm app by Barter Book.

Calvin & Hobbes and the PhD

This was in Sunday's paper and kinda summarises the whole PhD thing. With both linguistics and LCT, you learn a bit then it infiltrates your thinking. You have the view and the vocabulary to identify and describe the problems behind that vague feeling of something being wrong. And then you have an obligation to do something about it.

Trying to talk about Legitimation Code Theory

Inspired by a conversation with a friend and her husband on the weekend when they asked about a book chapter I had been writing.

DON'T ASK about MY THESIS

My gift to beleaguered and besieged thesis-writers everywhere:

Made by me with Keep Calm app by Barter Books which tells the story of the original "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster as well as giving you the AWESOME ability to make your own posters!

@stair on twitter suggested there should be business cards of this to hand out to people. WE NEED THIS!

If Doctor Who was a linguist

People assume that language is a strict connection between object and name, between meaning and word, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... semioticky semanticky... stuff.

Trinocular perspective

"In terms of stratification, the book deals with lexicogrammar, the stratum of working. If we use the familiar metaphor of vertical space, as implied in the word 'stratum', the startum 'above' is the semantics, that 'below' is the phonology. We cannot expect to understand the grammar just by looking at i[t] from its own level; we also look into it 'from above' and 'from below', taking a trinocular perspective. But since the view from these different angles is often conflicting, the description will inevitably be a form of compromise. All lingusitic description involves such compromise; the difference between a systemic description and one in terms of traditional school grammar is that in the school grammars the compromise was random and unprincipled, whereas in a systemic grammar it is systematic and theoretically motivated. Being a 'functional grammar' means that priority is given to the view 'from above'; that is, grammar is seen as a resource for making meaning - it is a 'semanticky' kind of grammar. But the focus of attention is still on the grammar itself."

Halliday & Matthiessen 2004 An Introduction to Functional Grammar (3rd edition) p. 31

I choose to think of the trinocular perspective described above with this picture:

How a PhD is like Alice in Wonderland (slideshow)

How a PhD is like Alice in Wonderland

View more presentations from Jodie Martin

Why I made a twitter account for my thesis

I made a twitter account for my thesis. I can now have conversations with it, hurl abuse at it or coax it along. Those of you who aren't on twitter probably think I'm mad and have probably stopped reading already. But for those of you still following (no twitter-pun intended), here's the basic justification:

WHATEVER GETS ME THROUGH

Some people treat their thesis like a job - they go to their office 9-5, they depersonalise the work as if they're on a contract. I've heard some people compare their thesis to a pregnancy - starting at the point where they're metaphorically rubbing their tummy and sighing and drawing attention to it, til they're heavy with knowledge and ready to burst. Some treat it like five (or three or seven) articles rather than one large text. I've heard the thesis compared to a bad relationship, to a constant companion, to many things... so, whatever gets me through. It's a little dissociative, giving the thesis its own personality so I can tweet it, but it makes me laugh. And I think it will help to conceptualise it, to externalise it, to insult it and from time to time say, "Today, thesis, you are going down!" Melodrama is a vastly underestimated coping mechanism. And nobody need know about me talking to my thesis... except I'm telling you about it now. But I had to share.

And anyway, it's fun.
Some of the most entertaining twitter accounts are spoofs (The Queen, Emma Thompson), pop culture mashups (Hipster Dalek, GRAMMARHULK) or various fictional characters (the entire cast of West Wing). So creating a twitter account for my thesis was entertaining. It's not just the concept, but the details. What avatar should it have? What bio? Who would it follow? As I currently envisage my thesis as somewhat evil and megalomaniac, it follows Darth Vader, Voldemort and Death Star PR. As it is sarcastic, it follows Speculative Grammarian. As it is linguistic it follows linguistics publishers. As it is academic, it follows the university, the library and QIkipedia. As it is a little geeky, it follows Thinkgeek. As it is still a little juvenile, it follows DontSayNoSayYes. As it loves data and infographics, it follows Information is Beautiful. And of course it follows ThesisWhisperer because what sort of ThesisWhisperer would ThesisWhisperer be if my thesis did not follow her. And lastly it's following UrDissertation because someone else had this idea before me.

How a PhD is like Alice in Wonderland

1. We’re all mad here
You know it's true. You have to be a little mad to delve into one tiny corner of a topic that nobody else has looked at for three to seven years.
 

2. We’re late! We’re late! For a very important (submission) date!
The biggest date is the final thesis submission and sometimes it seems like the story of the student who submitted on time is an urban myth.
 

3. Eat me! Drink me! Read me!
We all struggle with our research being too big, too small, with who we are as PhD students being too big, too small. And obeying labels.
It seems every text screams “READ ME!” and we at least print, photocopy, scan, download and/or save, even if we never end up reading it.

4. Curiouser and curiouser (HT to @frindley)
Because it is the nature of the research - the deeper you get the stranger it gets and the stranger you get. Soon enough you find yourself believing several impossible things before breakfast.

Let's start at the very beginning or My PhD in Do Re Me

A little bit of ridiculousness...

Let's start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
When you read you begin with ABC
When you study you end up with PhD (PhD)
The most important letters just happen to be
PhD (PhD)
BA (Hons) (French) Grad Dip (AppLing)...

B - A Bachelor is where you start
A - A Bachelor of Arts
(Hons) - To prove I did not bludge
(French) - Coz languages I loved
Grad - Not ready for the real world
Dip - So it'll last all year
(AppLing) - That's linguistics applied
That's how I ended up in a PhD!